In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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