Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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