My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
