too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
