it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my shit smells like andre
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
