There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you never un-have a 4some
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
