ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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