She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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