Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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