some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
