do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
