your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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