My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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