a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Randomize
