Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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