Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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