i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
