I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
