i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
