that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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