yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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