I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
