oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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