I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
