Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
