i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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