I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
