You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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