I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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