all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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