Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
