you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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