My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
