And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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