we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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