I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
