Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My feet surprised me
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