im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
