So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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