that's an acceptable place to lick
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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