I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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