I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
