Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
