nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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