hotel room ftw
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
