new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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