I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
