I'm eating all of the evidence.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
