i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
