Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
