Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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