WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
