After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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