Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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