He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
