that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
smell my finger.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
