I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
