Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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