U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
